Christmas’ Cougar Campaign

This past weekend, on March 29th 2025, Charlotte Catholic accepted a new addition to the Cougar family—a real Cougar.

It all began when Coach Christmas and some other faculty members took a trip to the Sierra Nevada mountains to hunt for cougars. Their goal was to get enough pelts to make capes for the football team to wear when they walk onto the field at the beginning of their games next year.

Unfortunately, the group was inexperienced and couldn’t seem to make any of their shots. Eager to find some success, they ventured deeper into the mountains, veering off the trail in hopes of finding an unmarked mountain lion den. Instead, they found themselves hopelessly lost, with no way to find themselves back to the trail. Low on food and water, and all out of cartridges, they wandered aimlessly for hours, hoping a stray hiking group would find and save them. Instead, they would end up finding so much more.

Just before the faculty tossed in the towel, they spotted a cougar cub prowling through the mountains on its own. Coach Christmas said,“I was cautious at first, since everyone knows even cubs can be dangerous, and we were all out of ammunition to defend ourselves.” They followed behind carefully, and it soon became evident that the cub knew it was being followed. 

Miraculously, the young cougar led Christmas and his hunting party back to the trail, where it then followed them back to their jeep and accompanied them on the ride home. When asked about the cub, Coach Christmas said, “I was surprised the little guy followed us, frantic as we were. And believe me, we were frantic. After all, cougar hunting is illegal in California, so we had to cover our tracks with a jet loaned to us by the Vatican.”

Coach Christmas has dubbed the cougar cub “Conrad,” and plans to raise him as a live mascot for the school. Coach Christmas says, “In a few short years, Conrad will lead a vanguard of cougar-caped players onto the field before all our games, and bring us certain victory by striking fear into the hearts of all our enemies.”